Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Why I {STILL} HATE JENN-AIR

You're still there?  Good.  Pull up a chair and a glass.

So today, the technician came to install the arcane, much-sought-after part which would bring my stove back from the underworld. 

Lovely guy; he hated like hell to break the news:  he opened the factory-sealed box containing the replacement part that would restore my languishing range, only to find the goddam thing had arrived broken.  Useless.  He called in an emergency re-replacement while I called Jenn-Air directly and recounted the foregoing saga.  Jenn-Air promised to rush overnight another part, but the soonest another tech can be scheduled is one week from today.  As you, my dear readers, already know from yesterday, I am committed to bake @ 200 cupcakes in the next couple of days, so this isn't likely to fly, is it? 

I believe I'm experiencing a foreshortened, black-hole-induced version of the stages of grieving, and have now reached (or am closing in on) acceptance.  I have accepted that this stove is an irredeemable pile of waste.  When the new part does arrive, I think I will ask my DDSO to just plug the beastly article in and either the stove returns to working order or it remains a useless hulk, and I will arrange to bake and fill the cupcakes offsite. 

So now:  I am guessing you've heard so much about these ruddy cupcakes you're thinking "Are you going to actually come across with a recipe, or just keeping whining about your soul-sucking homewrecker of a stove?  Dear Readers, your point is well taken, I have indeed been remiss.  I will post the recipes of the cupcakes, over the next couple of days.  Since I'm biased towards all things chocolate, here is the first.  If possible I will post pictures, but meantime here's the goods. 



Devil's Food Cupcakes with Dark Mocha Filling and Vanilla Swiss Buttercream Frosting

Yield: Makes Two dozen cupcakes
Special equipment needed?  If filling the cupcakes, you'll need a pastry bag
and a smooth decorating tip @ 1/4 inch in diameter. 


For the Cupcakes

8 oz cocoa powder (use the darkest you can get:  I like Ghirardelli for flavor + affordability)
4 cups granulated sugar
3 cups all-purpose flour
1-1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup strong brewed coffee
1 cup sour cream
2 cups vegetable oil
4 large eggs, lightly beaten

For the Frosting (makes enough for 2 dozen cupcakes)

4 egg whites, yolks reserved for another use
1 cup sugar
26 tablespoons (3 sticks + 2 tablespoons) of sweet butter, well softened
1 teaspoon vanilla paste (or vanilla extract)

For the Filling -- Dark Chocolate Mocha Sauce

1 stick sweet butter
1-1/3 cups granulated sugar
1 cup cocoa powder (see note above)
6 ounces of evaporated milk
1-1/2 teaspoons espresso powder

Start melting the butter in a heavy saucepan, add the sugar and stir until the butter is entirely melted.  Add the cocoa and coffee powder and stir until completely incorporated.  Add the evaporated milk a little at a time, stirring until incorporated.  Place in jar and allow to cool completely before storing in the refrigerator. 

For the cupcakes, preheat the oven to 350°F. Line the cups of two muffin tins with liners and spray lightly with cooking spray.

Sift the sugar, flour, cocoa, baking soda, and salt together into a large bowl. In a medium bowl, whisk together the hot coffee, sour cream, and vegetable oil. Gradually whisk in the eggs, then stir in the chocolate. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and stir until all the ingredients are smoothly blended.

Fill the cupcake liners about two-thirds full. Bake approximately 12 minutes, then rotate the pans and bake another 13 - 15 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center of a cupcake comes out clean.  Transfer to wire racks and allow to cool completely.  It is easier to fill the cupcakes if the filling has been chilled in the refrigerator for about a half hour, so now is a good time to make the frosting and set it aside. 

When the cupcakes are cool, put the filling in a pastry bag fitted with a medium smooth tip (use a nice 10" or 12" high vase or something similar, drop bag in and invert the "cuff" over the top of the vase to hold it whille you fill it) and twist the open end closed close to the filling in the big, and take that twisted part in your fist, squeezing gently until the filling starts to flow.  Push the tip into the top of each cupcake and squeeze filling in until you feel the cupcake swell just a bit.  Once you've filled all the cupcakes, you can wipe off the tip and squeeze any remaining filling back into the jar.  Or your mouth.  Or your SO's mouth, and you can get really inspired and totally distracted from the matter in hand, so let's focus for a little longer. 

Make the frosting:  set a saucepan on the stove, fill 1/3 with water and bring to a simmer.  Place the egg whites and sugar in a mixing bowl over the water and whisk occasionally, until the sugar is totally dissolved:  dip a (clean!) index finger into the mixture and rub between finger and thumb.  Once all the sugar's dissolved, transfer the bowl to the mixer stand or to countertop, being very very careful not to get any water into the bowl, and beat on high speed until the mixture has doubled in size.  At this point, start adding the softened butter 6 - 8 tablespoons at a time and beating just until each batch of butter is incorporated.  When the butter's all in, add the vanilla and beat for a couple of seconds.  Note:  if you're beating it by hand, this frosting can look as though it won't come together, but it will:  press on, keep beating the egg white/sugar mixture and it will come together.   You can frost the cupcakes with a knife or spatula, but I find I prefer to use a pastry bag and decorating or piping tip, or just a Ziploc bag with a corner snipped off.  The cupcakes look beautiful decorated with sanding sugar, or just the lightest dusting of cocoa. 

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